Sicknesses

Currently Reading:
The Time Traveler's Wife

I had a lot of topics I wanted to touch on today, but I felt obliged to narrow it down to only one: Sicknesses.

The other leading contenders were: Daylight Savings, Newborn Babies, and Old Man I Couldn't Pass Around in the Hallway Who Farted with Each Tiny Step.

Sadly, because this is all that I can wrap my head around at this hour, I can only write about my current, sick state.

Coughing, sore throat, lack of appetite, shivers, and a strange feeling of Vertigo are constantly battling one another to own the crown of 'Most Annoying Symptom of the Minute'. All I can seem to do is complain about anything and everything.

First, we lose an hour which doesn't help me get the much needed rest; as I had woken up an hour before my body wanted to. Secondly, I have a splitting headache that gets worse as I stand behind an elderly man at work today who happens to be in front of me in a narrow hallway, and farting little tiny squeaks with every step. Inside I was laughing hysterically, which hurt my gut, made me dizzier, and pounded my headache into a full-blown migraine. Ultimately, the pungent, sour smell of his gas didn't help my sinuses either.

In the end, I've pretty much given up on thinking that I'm 'healthy' today, which kind of sucks because I see myself as a person almost comically immune to sicknesses.

I'm thinking that I caught it when I was going out clubbing with some friends over the weekend. It was pretty chilly outside, but after a sweaty evening, I decided to go with short-sleeves in the brisk air. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea. Then again, there were a lot of dumb ideas we had that evening:

Mistake #1 - Using a gay bar to relieve our bladders.

It was a long car ride. Our bladders were about to explode. We parked. We found the nearest location that looked like it might have a restroom. We ran inside. We noticed a lack of girls. We noticed fancy, flashing lights. We noticed all the male bartenders in tight, black tank-tops. We didn't add things up until we were in the middle of our peeing session:

Me: Hey, man, it smells like a pool in here, huh?

Friend: I know, it's like bleach or chlorine *flush* (2 seconds later) AHHHH!!!!!

Me: What? *flush* (my eyes follow his to a poster on the doorway of two men flashing nothing but underwear). 'Two for One Specials. Wednesday Nights'. Gross.

Friend: Dude, I think we're in a gay bar.

Me: Dude... No wonder they were smiling at us.

END OF MISTAKE


Mistake #2: Standing in Line

Out in the cold, we had nothing to do but wait in line for two hours only to be told that the club had reached max. capacity and that everybody had to go elsewhere. Thanks for the 'Guest List' guys. Really awesome.


Mistake #3: Getting sick.

As it turned out, the evening was a pretty big success. We lost an hour of sleep, but we didn't care. We had fun. That was until I started coughing the next morning.


As it stands, I'm one weekend into March and only 5 weeks until the slew of birthdays is behind me. Which means that I might be able to catch up on rent over the next couple of months... if I decide to only eat apples and drink water throughout that time period.

On the bright side, I guess I'm losing weight.

I guess.